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The Truth about Sarah Palin’s Child: An Exclusive

Through diligent research on UFO web sites, Paxety Pages reporter Mahone Dunbar has uncovered an undoctored photo of Governor Palin, her husband, and their new child.  As the undoctored photo reveals, the child is actually an alien hybrid.  Speaking inflatable obstacle course of the photo of the child Trig (whose actual name is Trig 1178) Dr. Samuel Bosh of Emory University said, “It is not a retard, but a perfectly healthy human-alien hybrid bouncing baby boy!”

Are you sure the photo is accurate? Dunbar asked Dr. Bosh. inflatable games “Well,” the doctor declared between pulls on a crack pipe, “it was on the Internet. Right?  And everyone knows that the Internet don’t lie!”

Sarah, Trig 1178 and Todd

Sarah, Trig 1178 and Todd

{ 11 comments… add one }
  • Abu Tito September 10, 2008, 1:15 am

    Dammit, Mahone, now my brother wants one of those things.

  • Mahone September 10, 2008, 10:58 am

    Abu: The aliens have plenty of the hybrids laying around. All Michael has to do is to have SETI call up to the mother ship and order one for him. As I understand it, they come in two styles: ugly, and uglier. The only draw back is that the hybrids are sexless. Will this be a problem for Michael?

  • Steve September 10, 2008, 11:37 am

    this not right, hot lady cant have that ugly baby

  • Mahone September 10, 2008, 12:15 pm

    Steve: Yeah. It is sort of a scary thought. But still, in spite of that, the thought of, you know, Palin, in a skirted business suit, those secretary glasses on, her hair up in a sort of messy bun, bent over the desk in the oval office, skirt hiked up, electric blue, frilly silk panties showing and begging to be pulled down, and . . . .

    Note to Paxety readers. I’m sorry for that message. I just came home in time to find Bill Clinton at my computer keyboard. Thankfully, though he’d already soiled himself, I was able to lure him out of the house with a Big Mac and a sack of extra large fries. He’s sitting on the curb now, eating the Big Mac and waiting for the DNC to send someone to pick him up. Other than the Paxety comment above, and the fact that he’d obviously gone though my wife’s underwear drawer, no apparent damage was done.

  • Joan September 10, 2008, 4:13 pm

    U repukes nominated a team with values alien 2 the rest of us. U might think ur post is cute but its 2 revealing.

  • Mahone September 10, 2008, 5:40 pm

    Joan: Hello, baby. It’s a great day for women’s lib, isn’t it? You got a candidate of the female persuasion running for the White House, only, surprise . . . it ain’t Mrs. Clinton. So, I can understand your bitterness: you are confronted by a woman who has normal values, likes the company of men, carries a gun, raises a family and still manages to be an assertive executive while looking like Raquel Welch playing a hot secretary . . . damn, girl, das gotta be had to take for you fembots to take.

    But for the moment don’t worry about the that fact that Palin’s baby is obviously a reptilian alien, and that the reptiles from the constellation Draco have been beefing with us humans and controlling us since before the beginning of recorded history. The ‘Bama will free us all! Hallelujah.

  • Marion October 8, 2008, 9:27 pm

    you’re childish comments weren’t needed, for you to make fun of an innocent baby just shows you got nothing better to do. It’s one thing to attack Governor Palin, but completly different when you attack someone that cannot defend themselves. I suppose you’ve never had the privilege to know someone with down syndrome, I bet they would have something more productive to say than you. You must be a bitter old fart, that no one wants around and all you got left to do is talk sh*t.

  • Juan Paxety October 8, 2008, 10:50 pm

    Perhaps, Marion (david – whatever your real name is) you should learn to read carefully and recognize sarcasm. Perhaps the attack is not against the people you think.

  • Mahone October 9, 2008, 1:25 am

    Marion: You monkey-brained rat-fuck, you can take your opinion and . . . Oops! Wait a minute. Thought I was emailing my ex-wife there for a minute. Actually, Marion, I had an older sister, Margaret, who was severely retarded (“Down sin drum,” as she called it) and had a serious heart defect. Anyway, she was mainstreamed in school in the old days, before it was called mainstreaming. Her teacher, Mrs. Fordam, would work with her during the times she gave the rest of the class other assignments that kept them busy for awhile. It was an accomplishment for Margaret to recognize some of the letters in the children’s books Mrs. Fordam used to patiently and lovingly read to her. My mother always worried that Margaret who suffered from occasional fits, would succumb to her fate at school. Margaret left us when she was twenty-two. She died at home.

    What’s my point? Well, the point is, As drooling an imbecile as my sister Margaret was, she wouldn’t have been stupid enough (presuming Mrs. Fordam read the story on Palin’s alien baby to her) to miss the point of the story — a satire on the media abuse of Palin’s personal life — as you did. Congratulations! You’ve made Margaret’s ghost feel like a genius. Now, go out into the world and help somebody else.

  • Mad Jack October 14, 2008, 4:25 pm

    I was reading the article and the comments while Larks Tongue in Aspic played… strange, but it all fit and made sense.

  • Mahone October 24, 2008, 12:35 pm

    Mad Jack: The last time I listened to the King I was ruminating about the fact that we apparently live in a two-brane system linked by closed-loop strings which make gravity bosons that communitate force between the systems; and the fact that the bulk of our spacetime system is a dimension or two higher than the 2D brane, and that this is evident where singularities (massive black holes) exist as the engines that drive spacetime. I also mused on the fact that the fuel for the system is made of G – Bosons, which tunnel their way back and forth between the close (tighter than Planck’s Length) knit brane system, losing energy as they fill the higher dimension creating infinite, incalculable diversity of form, energy and possibility: the universe does all of this and I still can’t get lucky on a Saturday night. I’m definitely going to have to switch to lighter music.

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