Paxety Pages

 Commentary by Mahone Dunbar

(Read in the voice of the late Vincent Price, with the music of Thriller in the background)

The evil witch looms across the land

The socialist’s hour is close at hand

Kerry screams and casts his mud

Defaming America, wanting its blood

And any citizen who shall be found

Loving the constitution, shall be put down

Or stand and face the hordes of hell

Who worship Carter’s rotting shell

The stench of Bill fills the air

The funk of a thousand stained dresses

As a drunken Kennedy from the senate room

Leads the vote to seal your doom

And though you fight to keep freedom alive

Your mind starts to shiver

For no patriotic American can resist

The evil of The Hillary.

Washington

The unwashed, uneducated, and unloved hordes of the Apocalypse, i.e., the demo-anarchist-leftist movement in America – comprised of the flotsam of the sixties and their intellectual progeny – made their presence known in Washington last week. Though they stopped just short of spraying and fecal-tossing behavior, these "antiwar" protestors nonetheless showed off by invading the capital steps and spray-painting graffiti on public property. The capital police, taking a crime enforcement tip from the National Guard troops stationed on our southern border, stood by with their thumbs up their assets while the malfeasants manifested their unique mode of "free speech."

This is the new rule: we don't want to upset terrorist states by opposing them (better to let them slaughter us at will), we don't want to upset invading illegals by preventing their access to the US (better to educate their young and slather them in social security benefits), and we don't want to offend Democrat constituents (better to let them run amuck and violate the law at will). So get used to it.

John Kerry

Senator John (I-too-was-an-armed-combatant and I have the video to prove it) Kerry has been at it again. Clearly still steaming over the fact that even the Democrats thought him too heinous and loose-tongued to run for office, Kerry, in what has become a proud Democrat tradition, tossed stones at America from abroad. Speaking from Iran, and in the presence of Mohammad Khatami, the former President of the Iranian terror state, the equine-faced Kerry badmouthed the Bush administration, saying America walked away from global warming by not signing the Kyoto treaty (though even the brain-dead rule-by-polling Clinton Administration saw the wisdom of not signing this junk treaty which would negatively impact America's economy while excluding China – the number two source of particle emissions in the world – from compliance), and bemoaned our irresponsibility in fighting AIDS in Africa. We are hypocrites, an international pariah, Kerry lamented, who don't live up to our own standards.

In fact, America is spending billions of dollars of your tax money on African AIDS. As for not living up to our standards – we do this in spite of the fact that there is no stated constitutional mandate to provide such massive medical assistance to another continent. The duplicity and the hypocrisy are Kerry's – for deliberately misrepresenting the facts. Perhaps he can talk Teresa into funding AIDS research in Africa?  Or sell her fleet of SUVs and donate the money to global warming research. Though dotty Teddy Kennedy merely inherited his money, let us not forget that Senator John Kerry made his money the hard way: he married it, twice (though if you've seen a picture of Teresa Heinz, or heard her opine, you might think him currently underpaid).

Or was this another joke, Senator Lurch? Ha ha.

Senator Kerry: you've used up your fifteen minutes; now please get off the damn stage.

Jimmy Carter

It is becoming increasingly apparent that former president, peanut farmer, and nuclear scientist, Jimmy Carter, is either senile or anti-Semitic. Given the complaints by a Carter Presidential Library insider about Jimmy's recent book on the Palestinians and the Jews – that Jimmy had become an advocate for the Palestinians, and was distorting facts and misrepresenting the truth – and the subsequent mass resignation of board members of the library in recognition that Carter had, in effect, lost his objectivity and become a propagandist for the Palestinian position, the most recent revelation may tip the scales in favor of an anti-Semitic Carter.

Monroe Freedman, former executive director of the government’s Holocaust Memorial Council during the Carter administration, recently told an interviewer that Carter rejected a noted Holocaust scholar who was a Presbyterian Christian for the council because his name "sounded too Jewish." In another instance, Freedman revealed that he sent a list of names of potential council board members to President Carter and had it rejected by a note in Carter’s handwriting that said "Too many Jews."

As for me, I think we've had one too many peanut farmers in the White House.