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Islamic Hot Chicks Gone Wild
Friday, September 08, 2006   By: Mahone Dunbar

Islam enters the modern era

The following pictures were taken by our Paxety Pages undercover reporter Akbar Ben Muhammed, in several major Islamic cities, and smuggled to us at great personal risk. The pictures, which you will never see on CNN, Al-Jazeera, or Reuters (not that you can trust their pictures anyway), provide solid documentary evidence that the Muslim world is slowly changing, and that Western cultural values are making inroads into Islam. The commentary is also provided by Akbar.

Pakistan

On a street corner in Pakistan, Top burqua model, Faheema Isbeenlala, takes her pet twin goats, Hamood and Allabar, for their morning stroll and draws a lustful look from a passing businessman. The businessman, identified as Mackmulla Omar Mohammed, was of course, stopped by the police on the next block and arrested for ‘the lascivious looking at of a female.’ He was later released after he explained to the judge that he was only "fondly regarding what a nice pair of goats she had."

 

Iraq

 

Because there was much confusion at the wife-swapping party, and unbeknown to them, Omed and Asir accidentally wind up with their own wives.

 

Egypt

Islam has now relaxed it rules a bit, the better to serve Muslim men. Therefore, in keeping with the Western infidel tradition of "titty bars," Burqua Bars have been springing up around the Nile Delta like Jews at an estate sale. Here, the women perform various actions for the amusement and entertainment of the patrons, including the popular fondling of and moving around the pole; body posturing in a rhythmic manner to the accompaniment of music; and provocative table standing. All women are alluringly dressed in an intoxicating array of black burquas.

 

Iran

In an effort to ally Western fears about their development of nuclear energy, and the claim that they represent a repressive, violent, and stagnant culture, Iran's progressive leadership council has relaxed many restrictions on Western-style commercial ventures. One of the most popular new ventures is Shaharazade's Secret, a clothing shop that caters to women's vanity by selling intimate apparel for Islamic women. In addition to a wide array of burquas for women, the shop features veils designed to make men act like wild infidel dogs! These include such things as the days-of-the-week veils, colored veils, veils that one can consume, and lacy veils, In this picture, as a sales lady watches, bride-to-be Daquayza tries on the shocking semi-transparent, nose-less veil. No doubt, on their wedding night, her husband will be as delighted as a Jew who has stolen a purse from a widow.

Editor's note. Shortly after receiving the text and pictures for this article we were saddened to learn that our Islamic correspondent, Akbar, was beheaded afer he was caught eating the consumable veil from the face of a neighbor's wife. 

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