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Sheehan, Turner and Canada
Thursday, December 01, 2005   By: Mahone Dunbar

The peace mom, the mouth of the South, Canadians and space aliens

Mother of the peace movement, Cindy Sheehan, signs books in Crawford, Texas as Ted the-mouth-of-the-south Turner looks on.


Sheee’s Back

PPI–Mahone Dunbar

On November 26, anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan, who recently returned to Crawford, Texas to continue her quest to harass President Bush and garner publicity for herself, held a book signing.  An AP photo showed her sitting forlornly at an empty card table waiting for people eager to devour her literary endeavor to show up.

Though the event, according to reports, was sparsely attended, Sheehan notes that throughout the day she managed to sell all one-hundred copies of the book she had with her.

Sheehan says the AP misrepresented the photo to suggest no one showed up for the book signing. But it begs credulity to suggest the AP was attempting a hatchet job on her; in other articles the AP refers to Sheehan as the "peace mom," which sounds so sweet. The word ‘peace’ of course sounds harmless, and in some portions of the population engenders associations of smiling children, bouquets of colorful balloons ascending in the sky, frolicking puppies and daisies blooming in a wind-blown field. Sigh. And one generally doesn't associate the word ‘mom’ with fanatic, idiot, political agenda, dork-brain or other more accurate descriptors. Personally, I think the AP showed great restraint in not tagging her with a more accurate epithet like ‘hard-bitter-self-promoting-short-sighted-publicity-hungry-uninformed leftist.’

Cindy has a history of biting her friends and alienating potential sources of political support: she called Senator and war hero John McCain a warmonger, and referred to Sen. Hillary Clinton as a ‘war hawk!’ (If only Hillary were capable of that kind of commitment on behalf of the United States)

Leaning the drill quickly, Sheehan maintained that conservative bloggers were running the pictures of the book signing and trying to make it look like she lacked support; however, the Washington Post - a well-known conservative rag which also ran the AP picture of Sheehan's lonely vigil at her book signing - noted that earlier in the day Sheehan addressed a crowd of only about a hundred people (and how many of those were comprised of the press?).

Meanwhile - having put her European tour, her plan to tie herself to the White House, and her plans to run for president, on the back burner - Sheehan can be found trying to draw a crowd outside of Crawford, Texas.


Ted Turner Is Worried That Bush Will Start Nuclear War!

PPI–Mahone Dunbar

The time Ted Turner spent married to Jane Fonda caused irreversible brain damage in the media mogul, and Paxety Pages has the evidence to prove it!

In a recent speech given at the 141st Landon Lecture at Kansas State University, Turner stated his belief that Iraq was no better off after the United States' removal of Saddam Hussein than it was while the dictator and his psycho sons were in power. This means, in essence, that Turner thinks the people of Iraq were better off with rape rooms, murder squads, mass graves, ethnic cleansing, torture chambers, and political suppression. Maybe he should ask some Iraqis how they feel about that.

Turner, speaking to an auditorium that was less-than-full, did express grave concerns about the future, but they were unrelated to trivial things like brutal oppressive dictatorships and systemic Islamic terrorism, however; these would be global overpopulation, poverty and hunger - yadda yadda yadda. He also expressed his fear of nuclear war - not because some fanatical third-world Islamic country might get the bomb, but because President Bush, who has made "mistakes" before, might launch a nuclear war. Turner stated that war is an outdated form of diplomacy that has stopped working; unfortunately, the astute media executive offered no suggestions as to what efforts one should pursue when diplomacy fails because it is not backed up by the threat of potential force. But perhaps force is never needed; after all, diplomacy works so well with guys like Hitler, Hussein, Stalin, and Mao.


"Take that you little green cow-killing fuck! Nobody messes with cattle in Texas."

Cowboy Bush deals harshly with peaceful, harmless alien scientists, who only come to earth to mutilate a few cows, abduct people and experiment on them, and maybe get a little joy-riding in.

Canadian Leaders Fear Bush Will Cause Intergalactic War!

PPI–Mahone Dunbar

When it comes to paranoia about President Bush, Canada refuses to be outdone by Ted Turner. Former Prime Minister Jean Chrétien and one-time Deputy Prime Minister Paul Hellyer, who were both members of Prime Minister Trudeau's cabinet, have called for the protection of vulnerable space aliens against the military aggression of the United States. Though many liberal Canadian politicians have been against American militarism, Hellyer is the first to express fear that America may drag Canada into an intergalactic war.

Hellyer says that the United States military is developing weapons which could be used against aliens, thus "getting us into a war without us ever having any warning." This is, he maintains, the fault of the Bush administration, which has "finally agreed to build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them if they so decide."

Hellyer, who is a firm believer in UFOs, announced in a speech at the University of Toronto last September that "UFOs are as real as the airplanes that fly over your head." His comments make nary a wrinkle in the public’s perception of the subject.

Hellyer, who was Defense Minister from 1963 to 1967 in the administration of PM Lester Pearson and rose to Deputy PM under Trudeau, subsequently teamed up with several non-governmental organizations to ask Parliament to hold public hearings ET related politics, which he calls Exopolitics.

When I questioned a spokesman for the Department Of Defense about Canada’s concerns over a U.S. generated war with space aliens, he candidly admitted that Canada’s fears of U.S. militarism are well known in the Pentagon; in fact, he added, we monitor their level of fear on a regular basis by examining the sales figures for incontinence products in Canada.

Meanwhile, in a related item, the Canadian parliament announced today that it has declared imbeciles a protected species.


(c)1968- today j.e. simmons or michael warren