Paxety Pages

The new myth that the left (i.e., the Democratic party) is trying to foster on the world is the idea that Bush's reelection was the result of a ground swell by the fundamentalists right - a horde of redneck, bible-thumping, gun-loving, pick-up truck driving southern Neanderthals. It ain't so. There are plenty of artsy fartsy republicans, who wear sandals and tie-dyed shirts while listening to the Grateful Dead on their mp3, who have actually dabbled in cultural diversity, who have intellectually entertained more than one position on a given topic, and who score in high triple digits on IQ tests. Of course, as democrats lick their wounds after the election, it is only natural that they would rather take comfort in the delusion that those who reject their political ideals are their intellectual inferiors than face the truth: a majority of Americans detest their policies and reject their leaders - a series of increasingly smarmy guys who sport four-hundred dollar haircuts, thousand-dollar suits, and unctuous smiles (think of Bill Clinton as a sort of Elmer Gantry without the sincerity). You wouldn't buy a used car from them, much less a national health policy.

But let us be thankful for the political myopia of the Democrats; it will assure their continued failure at the polls.

To the Americans who have fled the Balkanized ranks of the Democratic party, who decry the endless nannytization of the United States pushed on them by democrats, and who believe in the principle that The enemy of my enemy is my friend, the Republican party has provided a welcome home. These republicans have also asked and answered the question What credibility can a party that is steered by the moral leadership of Ted Kennedy, enthusiastically embraces the egalitarian fantasies of Earth Mother elect Hillary Clinton, gives a platform to a self-promoting clown like Jesse Jackson, and apparently takes the likes of Al Sharpton seriously, have?

Thus, a lot of Republicans, like myself, have a political ideology that can best be described as more anti-democrat than anything else. Let's take the gloves off here: You hate President Bush. Well, I got news for you: we detest your whole frigging party.

Fortunately for the Republicans, the ranks of the Democrats have recently been swelled by intellectual giants from the entertainment industry (I was almost breathless waiting to see what position Eminem would take on vital political issues), providing the world with a cottage industry of vacuous observations on life and politics. Yes, War is bad for children. But growing up under the jackboot of (pick your ideological poison) a Saddam, a Stalin, a Mao, a Castro, a Hitler, or a Taliban, is no Sunday pick nick for them either. And when there is no other option for survival but war, only the foolish and the timid hesitate, or wait for the French to suck up their courage and sign on -- a vital necessity since France alone controls the world's biggest resource of both mimes and cheeses.

Speaking of war, Did national security and the Iraq war play big in the election? You bet.

We are fighting the war in Iraq -- for all you dull wits who can not read between the lines -- not because we are legally justified to do so because of Iraq’s violation of the terms of the cease fire from the first Gulf War, nor because we are morally justified in overthrowing a barbaric dictator and his repressive regime, nor to find WMDs, but to show a series of dangerous Western-hating Islamic countries that if you pull the big dog's tail, he will bite. Under the theory of pick the biggest loudest, posturing bully and whip him to make a point to his cronies, we picked Iraq. Though John Kerry, a host of stellar Hollywood jabber-mouths, and most democrats, apparently do not have the mental finesse to realize the necessity of this for us and our progeny, much less the balls to implement it, thank God, George W. Bush has both. When you have an enemy that is uncompromising in executing what they feel is their religious raison d'etre -- to eradicate every man, woman, child, and babe-in-arms in the United States and wipe its culture from the face of the earth -- there can be no compromise. I know this. Usama and the Islamics know this. George W. knows this. Kerry didn't have a clue. That alone was, deservedly, Kennedy-hole-in-the-head fatal to his campaign.

And yes, we might still lose the war with Islamic fundamentalism; but at least with George we have a chance; unlike Senator Kerry, in this war we cannot take three band-aid wounds, collect our medals, and then simply withdraw to a safe harbor from which we can bitch about things, posture in front of a camera and build a political career for ourselves. This is war with our extinction as its goal. There are many of us who take the idea of our extinction seriously. The democratic party apparently does not.

In summary, here are some of the Democrat's culinary offerings that hungry voters found indigestible.

That married-to-a-fortune, snow-boarding, wind-surfing, I-don't-own-this-fleet-of- SUVs-my-family-does John Kerry is not a hypocrite of astronomical proportions;

That Sean "Hey, I know that dude," wife-smacking-paparazzi-attacking, apostle-for-peace-in-Iraq Penn is anyone's intellectual superior;

That Rosy you-shouldn't-have-a-gun-though-my-bodyguard-does O'Donald is a fine arbiter of constitutional issues;

That any Hollywood actor who has ever made money starring in an action movie and yet decries the level of violence in the world is not a blithering idiot;

Or that anyone who thinks war for oil is bad, yet drives a car, flies in a plane, rides a bus, hitch hikes, or uses any product that is somehow a derivative of Middle Eastern oil, should be allowed to carry a voting card.

In short, the Republicans rule the day not because we are a horde of uneducated, redneck, demented religious fanatics -- who, gee, go figure, somehow mysteriously out maneuvered our more rational intellectual and moral superiors like James Carvill -- but because many of us have refused to board a democrat party ship that is riddled with holes of hypocrisy, it's larders empty of logic, is manned by a crew of the damned, and is piloted by a captain who is even now, while snow boarding somewhere in Colorado, still wondering where his strawberries went.

You guys don't have a clue. And if the nation's luck holds out, you never will.

Or course there are many in the democratic party who realize the threat to our culture posed by Islam and yet think it would be good to get out of our SUVs, off our computers, away from our plasma screen TVs and join all the happy Third Worlders in the dirt. Well, I say, Go ahead. I'll meet you in the yard after I finish watching this Sean Pen marathon on my 42 inch HDTV plasma screen TV.

"Hey, I know that dude."